THE REDBACK ON THE TOILET SEAT POEM BY SLIM NEWTON

THE REDBACK ON THE TOILET SEAT POEM BY SLIM NEWTON

 

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.
I jumped high up into the air
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty redback spider
Wasn’t nowhere to be found.

I rushed into the missus,
Told her just where I’d been bit.
She grabbed a cut-throat razor-blade
And I nearly took a fit.

I said, “Just forget what’s on your mind
And call a doctor please,
‘Cause I got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease.”

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

And now I’m here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

I can’t lie down, I can’t sit up
And I don’t know what to do,
And all the nurses think it’s funny
But that’s not my point of view.

I tell you its embarassing,
And that’s to say the least,
That I’m too sick to eat a bit
While that spider had a feast.

And when I get back home again
I tell you what I’ll do,
I’ll make that redback suffer
For the pain I’m going through.

I’ve had so many needles
That I’m looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn’t very long to live.

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

But now I’m here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

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